


Grilled Cheese and Silent Doubts

by bluestbluetoeverblue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Parents, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 22:43:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2085939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluestbluetoeverblue/pseuds/bluestbluetoeverblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the past creeps up on Dean and Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grilled Cheese and Silent Doubts

Dean’s eyes blinked open. The bedroom was still dark, but that was probably the blackout curtains; they had a habit of sleeping till noon on their days off. He felt the warm body beside him, still heavily asleep, and carefully detangled his legs and slipped out of bed, wiping the sand from his eyes. He grabbed his robe off of the chair by the door and put it on as he walked barefoot down the hall. Once in the kitchen, he put a filter and grounds in the coffee maker as well as some water and turned it on before putting some bread in the toaster. He sat at the round table in the dining room with his breakfast, sipping black coffee from a ceramic mug, and unfolded the newspaper from the day before. Dean had skimmed over the headlines and was reading the used car ads when he heard the front door open. He quickly went to the entryway, where he found Sam crouched on the floor, helping Mary with her shoes.

“Hi, Daddy!” She smiled when she saw him and ran over to hug his legs.

“Hey, kid,” he laughed, hoisting up his five-year-old and holding her on his hip. “How was the zoo?”

“Awesome! We saw elephants, and zebras, and giraffes!”

“Uncle Sam must have felt right at home with them, huh?” Dean said. His daughter giggled. “Why don’t you go put your backpack in your room and get the cheese and bread out so I can make you some lunch.” He set her down.

“Okay. Bye, Uncle Sam!”

“Bye, cutie,” Sam said to his niece with a smile.

“Hey, Sammy.” Dean embraced his little brother in a hug. “Thanks for taking her for the weekend.”

“Of course, we love having her over. And just think of it as our anniversary present to you.” Dean laughed, nodding. “Cas still sleeping?”

“Yeah, you know him. Where’s Jess?”

“In the car. She would have come in but...morning sickness.”

“Ah. Get her home then.”

“I will. I’ll see you Wednesday.”

“See ya.” Dean closed the door behind his brother and made his way to the kitchen, where he found Mary digging around in the fridge, the faint smell of cinnamon in the air. “Mary Ellen Winchester, what are you getting into, kid?” 

She turned around with wide eyes and a smile, holding a piece of tinfoil that was supposed to be covering desert from last night. Dean pretended to be mad for about half a second before picking her up and tickling her neck, causing her to giggle uncontrollably. “I want pie,” she said. 

Dean pursed his lips then shrugged and said, “Oh alright, fine.” They both watched the microwave plate turn for an excruciating three and a half minutes as the house was filled with the scent of warm apples and intense cinnamon. Then Dean sat her on a tall stool at the kitchen island and leaned on the counter of it as they shared a piece of their favorite food. 

“Ahem,” they heard a throat being cleared and turned to see Cas standing in the doorway in a navy blue robe.

“Hi, Daddy,” Mary said with a mischievous smile, putting down her fork. Dean hastily gulped down the bite in his mouth. 

“Hi, Mary.” Cas walked over and kissed his daughter’s forehead before walking around the island to the other side of the kitchen and filling a mug with black coffee. “Pie for breakfast, really Dean?” he said before taking a drink.

“Technically,” Dean responded playfully, “it’s lunch. You just sleep late.”

“Did you two at least save me a piece?” Mary nodded and grinned, revealing the space where one of her teeth had been missing for a few weeks. Now how could Cas resist that smile? “Good.”

“Okay, kiddo,” Dean said, laying his fork down. “You finish up your pie while I make you a more appropriate lunch. Grilled cheese still sound good?”

“Will you make it?” the girl asked Cas. “Dad always burns it.” 

“Certainly.” Cas started laughing and took the bread from the hands of one stunned-looking Dean.

“Excuse me?” Dean said in an offended tone. “I knew the truth would come out sometime but my grilled cheese? That’s ridiculous. I make the best damned grilled cheese in the state of Kansas!"

“Dean.” Cas gave him a pointed look, and Dean turned to their daughter.

“Mary, don’t say damned. More importantly, how could you betray me like this? I thought you loved me!” Cas rolled his eyes as Dean gave her the puppydog look he seemed to have learned from his brother. 

“You better hug your Dad before he starts crying.” Cas was buttering the bread and heating the stove top. Mary reached for Dean, who leaned over the stool so that she could wrap her arms around his neck and squeeze as hard as she could. He pretended to cough when she let go.

“Jeez, kid. You’re getting strong. Soon you’ll be able to beat me at arm wrestling.”

“I beat Uncle Sam!” Dean smiled and nodded approvingly.

“Awesome.”

 

Dean twisted the wrench a few more turns to the right before stepping back and taking another look at the engine. There was something he was missing, but he couldn’t quite place it. He was checking for rust or wear on all the parts when he heard light footsteps coming from behind. Mary was standing in the doorway wearing the dark blue dress Jess had bought her with black leggings. The colors made the freckles that dotted her face stand out even more than normal, especially against her almost black hair. It was funny, Dean often thought, that she looked so much like a combination of him and Cas. When Meg, an old friend of Sam’s, had agreed to be their surrogate, the male DNA was a game of mix up the bottles and choose one. They still had no idea which one of them had ended up being Mary’s biological father, and neither of them cared; she turned out as a perfect little girl who was one hundred percent theirs. 

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Well, a guy brought me this car to fix, but I’m not sure what's exactly wrong with it , so I’m trying to figure it out."

“Then you’ll fix it?”

“Mhm. Wanna help?” She looked at the car’s open hood like it was going to bite her. “Come on, I’ll show you.” He stood her on an old chair so that they could both look down at the engine. She crossed her arms in front of her and furrowed her brow in concentrated confusion, tilting her head a few degrees to the right and staring down at the engine with sea-foam eyes. Dean bit his tongue so as not to laugh.

“Being a mechanic is hard,” she finally declared. This time, Dean didn’t keep his laugh in.

“Yeah,” he said, lifting her down off the chair. “Someday, if you want when you’re older, I’ll teach you all about it. And if you like it, you can come work with me.” She smiled up at him. “Go on upstairs and ask Dad if he wants to go to the store.”

Dean took off his grease-stained work shirt and replaced it with a clean black t-shirt. He figured his jeans would survive one day with a bit of grime on them and pulled on his jacket. When he entered the front of the garage, he found Bobby slipping Mary pieces of contraband chocolate. “Better not let Cas see you doin’ that,” Dean said.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t seen that man sneakin’ her those lemon candies he carries around in his pocket. Besides, I’m not her daddy; I can spoil her all I want.” Bobby winked at the girl and handed her another chunk of chocolate, and she giggled in response before sticking it in her mouth. Then, Cas came in from their apartment upstairs. 

“See ya, Bobby. I’ll be back to work on that truck later.”

Cas strapped Mary into her booster seat and got into the passenger side of the Impala as Dean put it in ignition. They then listened to Mary recount every single detail of her weekend.

 

Dean leaned forward on the cart, grabbing whatever looked good- ground beef, Frosted Flakes, popcorn, and more as he wandered around the store. Mary had dragged Cas away to show him the sugary cakes she’d had this weekend from her Aunt Jess’ craving stash. Dean was more than happy to let Cas deal with her pleading for the dessert while shopping for what they needed. 

“Dean?” Dean turned to see a woman staring at him. He would recognize that voice anywhere, but the tall frame, fair skin, and dark hair confirmed its identity. 

“Lisa?”

“Oh my god, it is you. Wow, what’s it been, like nine years?” Lisa laughed and hugged Dean. He held his breath and wasn’t sure what to do, ultimately ending up awkwardly patting her back. 

“Hey, Lisa. It’s good to see ya. You look good.”

“You do too.” She gestured to the items in his cart with wide eyes. “I never thought I’d see the day when Dean Winchester bought vegetables.” Dean joined her in laughing. “So, what have you been up to? Still working at the garage?”

“You know me. Small town is my middle name.” Her face darkened.

“Dean-”

“Sam, though. He finished school--top of his class--and now he’s the best family court lawyer in the state.”

“That’s fantastic,” Lisa said sincerely. Dean felt someone tugging on his shirt and found Mary looking up at him.

“Dad said I could get Zebra Cakes,” she said happily.

“That softie broke?” Dean asked, picking Mary up and balancing her on his hip. “You’re getting too good at this begging thing.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

“Who’s that?” she asked, pointing to Lisa. Before he could answer, Cas walked up with an exasperated look on his face and dropped three boxes of Zebra Cakes into the cart. 

“I couldn’t do it, Dean. She’s too persuasive. Then I got a call from Gabe. He says he hasn’t seen us in forever, so don’t make any plans for next week….” He noticed the stranger and smiled faintly. “Hello…”

“Lisa,” Dean said, “this is my fiance, Cas, and our daughter, Mary. Guys, this is Lisa.”

“Daughter?” Lisa asked incredulously. Then, she looked at Cas with a confused expression. “Fiance?” Dean saw something click on Cas’ face.

“Lisa? Nine years ago Lisa?” Dean sighed, suddenly wishing they hadn’t gone to the store.

“Um, yeah. To all questions.”

 

“Lisa sure seemed surprised by us,” Cas said as he and Dean unpacked the groceries.

“Well, I wasn’t really into guys back when we were together, you know that.” Dean put a jug of milk in the fridge, waiting to hear Cas’ response.

“She never had any inclination…?”

“What, that I was the kind of guy who falls in love with his brother’s best friend and ends up having a kid with him? I never imagined this as my life. I wouldn’t change it for the world, but nine years ago my outlook was pretty different.” Cas grunted and turned to remove items from a paper bag. When he turned back around Dean kissed him unexpectedly, holding onto Cas’ shoulder as if trying to reinforce the message meant to be delivered. “I love you, Cas.” 

He couldn’t help but smile at that freckled face. “I love you too.”

 

Cas sat at his desk, grading papers. Well, giving grades on effort, which was easily seen in the work. He expected that he’d soon be done and able to go home. There was a light knock on the door and Principle Shurley stepped into the classroom. “Castiel?”

“Yes, sir?” Cas stood up to meet his boss in the center of the room. 

“I was just in the middle of giving a tour of the school, but I have a district meeting to get to. Do you think you could finish up for me?”

“Of course.”

“Good, good,” he said as they made their way out the door. “We’ve offered Miss Braeden a job teaching the music classes.” Cas stopped dead in his tracks. Lisa was standing outside the room, studying the work on the walls. “Miss Braeden, Mr. Novak here is our exceptional art teacher. I am very sorry to leave you, but at least it is in good hands.” Lisa’s eyes widened for a moment before she nodded and gave a tightlipped smiled. 

“This is the gymnasium,” Cas said as they walked through the silent elementary school halls. “The cafeteria is just up on our right; you’ll probably want to see that.” Lisa nodded. 

“Is he happy?” she said suddenly, stopping Cas in the middle of a hallway and looking up into his crystal blue eyes.

“Yes, I believe so,” Cas replied in his normal raspy voice. She gave a little laugh.

“He’s just so different….  
how long have you been together?”

“Seven years as a couple, six engaged.”

“Would it be inappropriate to ask how you met?”

“Sam. I don’t have too much of a family besides my eccentric brother who’s usually off in some foreign country, so Sam brought me home one Thanksgiving. After that, I’m not sure. Sometime between the turkey and the pie, I guess I decided to stay around, and they let me.”

“That’s the Winchesters. They love adopting strays. I think it’s because they’re strays themselves.” Cas nodded. “I don’t mean to be so rude. It’s just that I was in love with Dean for a long time. I’ll never not be in love with him. But when we were together, the moment I started talking about marriage, he was out. And children...there was no chance.”

“People change. They realize what sort of life they want to live.” 

“I guess. I’ve gotta know, he still drives his dad’s Impala, right?”

“Baby? It took me months to convince him to let Mary in it. There aren’t many things he’d put over that car.” They both laughed together, Cas loosening his blue tie a bit despite the sudden storm cloud in his mind.

 

Cas locked the door to Singer Auto behind him and made his way across the garage. Bobby was laying back in a desk chair in his office, snoring away. Cas turned off the lights and quietly headed upstairs. The apartment would have been silent if it hadn’t been for the noisy spurts of air coming from the AC. There was no sign of Dean and Mary. Removing his tan trenchcoat and leaving it in the entryway, he made his way to the kitchen to find a mess consisting of cherry cough syrup, an open phone book, Dean’s cellphone, an open bottle of Flintstone vitamins, and a jar of honey that was leaking, leaving the countertop sticky. As if Cas hadn’t been worrying enough. He hurried down the hallway past their empty bedroom and the bathroom to find Mary’s door open no more than an inch. 

He pushed it open quietly to find the room almost dark. In the glow of the night light he saw Mary tucked under multiple patchwork quilts Cas hadn’t seen in years with no less than twenty-five stuffed animals surrounding her. Her face was pale as she slept restlessly. Dean was sitting in a chair that had been pulled beside the bed, whispering into the home phone. He sighed and hung up, setting the phone on Mary’s bedside table before leaning over to hold his head in his hands. Cas stepped over to him, laying a hand on his shoulder and causing Dean to jump. His eyes filled with relief in seeing it was only Cas. 

“What happened?” Cas whispered roughly. Dean stood up and they silently went out to the hallway.

“She came home coughing like a two-pack-a-day smoker and could barely walk she was so tired.”

“Fever?”

“Barely. I called every doctor in the damn phone book, but no one’s open. So when I finally got her to fall asleep I called Jess. She said to let her sweat it out and keep giving her appropriate doses of the cough stuff and promised to come over tomorrow to check on her.”

“She does know more about this type of situation than we do.”

“I know,” Dean sighed, rubbing his eyes more. “Mary never gets sick like this.” The worry was clear in his voice, and Castiel mumbled something along the lines of “I don’t know what I was thinking.” Dean demanded to know what he meant.

“It’s just that...you didn’t even want kids in the beginning, and I’d gotten it into my head that you still didn’t.”

“Is this because of Lisa? Dammit, Cas; if I didn’t want a kid I wouldn’t have saved all my money, begged our friends for what we didn’t have, come in a plastic bottle, painted a room of our house pink, and agreed to raise one with you!” He pointed to the bedroom door. “That little girl is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Not you, not Sammy, and definitely not Lisa.”

“I’m sorry,” Cas said, looking at their feet. “I’m an-”

“Idiot,” Dean finished. “I know. And I love you.” He wrapped his arms around his fiance, craning his neck a bit to kiss his neck. 

“I love you too,” Cas whispered back before they heard Mary call out for her daddys and nearly tripped over each other rushing through the door.


End file.
